- The burger is delicious but there will be repercussions.
- Downward dog exposes the precarious structural integrity of my right-side-up face.
- Compliments come with an unspoken “for your age” hanging off the end.
- 6am isn’t as early as it used to be. 11pm is much, much later.
- This could use just a pinch more salt.
- I don’t need reading glasses yet. No, really. I can read this; it’s just that the light is a bit dim.
- The shiny, over-filtered vibe on Instagram takes too much energy. But my Facebook feed has disquieting GoFundMe campaigns for people my age who died.
- That third glass of wine is always a bad idea.
- Sometimes, I briefly lose the ability to give a shit. I’m sad when it comes back.
- 25- and 35-year-olds look equally smooth-faced and clueless to me.
- Those shoes are gorgeous, but no.
- I now know what I’m talking about most of the time. People still don’t listen, but I’ve accepted that they have to learn the hard way.
- I routinely refer to events from “last year” only to be reminded that they happened in 2008.
- Your enthusiasm is adorable. But also exhausting.
- Sounding like my parents doesn’t cause the angst it used to.
- My patience for drama, whining and uncomfortable undergarments shrinks with each passing year, just as my patience with old people grows.
- Tweezers apparently aren’t just for eyebrows.
- Walking in late to a gathering, I’m surprised by how old my friends are.
- Before I step off a chair or climb on the counter, there is the teeniest flicker of a pause as I question the wisdom of my action.
- It is unfair that skin doesn’t shrink in hot water like my cotton pants do.
- My grandmother once told me, “Sometimes, when I look in the mirror, I wonder who that old lady staring back is.” I thought I understood, but I didn’t.
- Given the option, I wouldn’t go back to my 20s. It was too much work. But maybe my late 30s if I could bring what I know now with me but keep that body.
Life at 46
The World's Okayest Mom 
Welcome to the second half of your life. It is great, but not without it’s challenges and growth opportunities. They just aren’t what you expected. I am still interested in that, but I am not sure I have the energy to do it. I could do it , but maybe I’ll just let you muck through it on your own. I’ve put in my time now it’s your turn. Boy is that hard to accept.
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Okay, back to the computer after getting the running mascara out of my eyes and reapplying same… which I had just applied in the first place 5 minutes earlier. That is a PERFECT list – how long have you been compiling your thoughts? My favorites were downward dog (huge belly laugh), patience (beautiful) and the mirror (oh, yeah!) but they were all spot on… nailed it again! You have the kindest edgy “voice” – fun and yet comfortable to read. Love you,
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OMG #17 had me on the floor in tears!!! Lol. So funny, and their, the entire list!
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Exactly, Becca.
Btw…My thighs in downward dog are also having the same trouble as your/my face🙄
Sigh.
Xoxo I’m grateful for you putting to words what we all feel.
Sent from my iPhone
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