Life at 46

The burger is delicious but there will be repercussions.Downward dog exposes the precarious structural integrity of my right-side-up face.Compliments come with an unspoken “for your age” hanging off the end.6am isn’t as early as it used to be. 11pm is much, much later. This could use just a pinch more salt.I don’t need reading glasses... Continue Reading →

I can’t be the only parent who rates her children’s activities based on the relative torturous-ness of their associated events. My personal scale runs from 0 to weekend-long-soccer-tournament-in-Orange-County. Lacrosse games and children’s theater are about 3; high school improv is a 5. Last night’s two-hour middle school band and orchestra concert was a 7, primarily... Continue Reading →

On Being “That Mom”

When my daughter was a newborn, she flipped off the changing table onto the floor. I was across the room at the time, forlornly surfing Facebook to see what normal people with normal lives were doing, those lucky souls who weren’t trapped in the eternal twilight of breast-feeding, Sex in the City reruns and diaper... Continue Reading →

A tableau of my future

There’s a woman my age staying in our AirBnB this weekend, in town to visit her son at college. I can see them sitting on the deck in the sun. She’s handed him a plastic grocery bag, crumpled from her luggage, and he’s pulling things out one at a time: a Toblerone bar, Pocky sticks,... Continue Reading →

The Myth of a Happy Childhood

“My son is so emotional all the time. He’s angry, then he’s sad, then he’s excited. I can’t keep up,” said one friend. “I’m wondering if he needs therapy.” “My daughter spends most of her time reading in her room,” said a different friend on a different day. “Do you think she’s okay? Should I... Continue Reading →

Last weekend (along with 90% of Americans) I saw “Black Panther.” The movie itself was rad and subversive and set a new bar for Hollywood action movies, blowing up the idea that people of color and women (and most particularly women of color) can only carry the roles of sidekick, token or gooey-eyed love interest.... Continue Reading →

In Defense of 45-Year-Old Knees

“Those are great pants!” I said to the mom next to me at the beach picnic. They were embroidered and loose, hitting mid-shin in that perfect casually-chic way. “Thanks,” she said. “They’re great because no one should see 45-year-old knees.” The other moms in the circle nodded and laughed, and the conversation moved on. I... Continue Reading →

Why 13 is Better Than 3

Among my friends, it’s become something of a sport to gripe about our young teens. The sullen faces. The eye-rolls. The sinus-searing scent of their shoes. One dad I know, in the middle of a tirade about epic homework battles, exhaled deeply, “Remember when they were in preschool? Those were great days.” His eyes glazed... Continue Reading →

The Pursuit of Pinterest Perfect

I’ve always enjoyed my life porn: Sunset, Real Simple, Pottery Barn’s catalog. I cancel plans on the day that Ikea’s annual idea book arrives. At points in my life, even the Dixieline Lumber circular or that one catalog full of drapey clothes and Buddha-themed wall plaques has scratched my itch. And now there’s Pinterest, a... Continue Reading →

The Cult of Efficiency

Once, years ago, my friend Natalie asked me, “You always say you’re too busy for stuff. What are you doing with your time?” There was an awkward, confused silence, because my every waking moment felt crammed with non-discretionary activities, stuff I had to do and do well. I felt like I barely had time to... Continue Reading →

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