Sometimes folks new to town mistakenly assume that San Diego has no seasons. Here are ten foolproof ways to spot "autumn."
How to Identify “Fall” in the Land of Eternal Summer
Life at 46
The burger is delicious but there will be repercussions.Downward dog exposes the precarious structural integrity of my right-side-up face.Compliments come with an unspoken “for your age” hanging off the end.6am isn’t as early as it used to be. 11pm is much, much later. This could use just a pinch more salt.I don’t need reading glasses... Continue Reading →
The life-changing magic of Tidying Up my expectations
One of the few things that brings me more pain than clutter is realizing I am a cliché. So you can imagine the emotional turmoil caused by Marie Kondo’s Tidying Up phenomenon. My love of organization has deep roots. I grew up in a tools-on-a-pegboard, boxes-as-drawer-organizers house. In elementary school, I set aside entire Saturdays... Continue Reading →
What our kids can teach us about gender and sexuality (that growing up in the ’80s didn’t)
Growing up in Southern California in the ‘80s, I learned that there were three categories of people: boys who played sports and liked girls, girls who wore Bonnie Bell lip gloss and liked boys, and everyone else, who we lumped into a catch-all category labeled “gay.” This “gay” bucket included everyone from Martina Navratilova to... Continue Reading →
I can’t be the only parent who rates her children’s activities based on the relative torturous-ness of their associated events. My personal scale runs from 0 to weekend-long-soccer-tournament-in-Orange-County. Lacrosse games and children’s theater are about 3; high school improv is a 5. Last night’s two-hour middle school band and orchestra concert was a 7, primarily... Continue Reading →
On Being “That Mom”
When my daughter was a newborn, she flipped off the changing table onto the floor. I was across the room at the time, forlornly surfing Facebook to see what normal people with normal lives were doing, those lucky souls who weren’t trapped in the eternal twilight of breast-feeding, Sex in the City reruns and diaper... Continue Reading →
A tableau of my future
There’s a woman my age staying in our AirBnB this weekend, in town to visit her son at college. I can see them sitting on the deck in the sun. She’s handed him a plastic grocery bag, crumpled from her luggage, and he’s pulling things out one at a time: a Toblerone bar, Pocky sticks,... Continue Reading →
The Myth of a Happy Childhood
“My son is so emotional all the time. He’s angry, then he’s sad, then he’s excited. I can’t keep up,” said one friend. “I’m wondering if he needs therapy.” “My daughter spends most of her time reading in her room,” said a different friend on a different day. “Do you think she’s okay? Should I... Continue Reading →
Last weekend (along with 90% of Americans) I saw “Black Panther.” The movie itself was rad and subversive and set a new bar for Hollywood action movies, blowing up the idea that people of color and women (and most particularly women of color) can only carry the roles of sidekick, token or gooey-eyed love interest.... Continue Reading →
The Guy Who Likes Golf: The terrible, horrible, no-good, very-bad process of facing my own biases
Last month, I helped some aspiring first-generation college students prepare for Ivy League admissions interviews and, as usual, I had to hold my jaw off the floor as they casually described their lives. Lydia*, for example, was explaining why she wanted to study biomedical engineering when she mentioned that she learned to speak English in... Continue Reading →
Should eighth-graders debate abortion? A three-years-late response
Once, at a dinner party, I mentioned where I work and the conversation — as often happens — veered into awkwardness. A woman across the table pointed her fork at me and said, “My daughter’s eighth-grade English class is having a debate. One of the topics is abortion. Don’t you think that’s inappropriate for 13-... Continue Reading →
In Defense of 45-Year-Old Knees
“Those are great pants!” I said to the mom next to me at the beach picnic. They were embroidered and loose, hitting mid-shin in that perfect casually-chic way. “Thanks,” she said. “They’re great because no one should see 45-year-old knees.” The other moms in the circle nodded and laughed, and the conversation moved on. I... Continue Reading →
Why 13 is Better Than 3
Among my friends, it’s become something of a sport to gripe about our young teens. The sullen faces. The eye-rolls. The sinus-searing scent of their shoes. One dad I know, in the middle of a tirade about epic homework battles, exhaled deeply, “Remember when they were in preschool? Those were great days.” His eyes glazed... Continue Reading →
The Pursuit of Pinterest Perfect
I’ve always enjoyed my life porn: Sunset, Real Simple, Pottery Barn’s catalog. I cancel plans on the day that Ikea’s annual idea book arrives. At points in my life, even the Dixieline Lumber circular or that one catalog full of drapey clothes and Buddha-themed wall plaques has scratched my itch. And now there’s Pinterest, a... Continue Reading →
The Cult of Efficiency
Once, years ago, my friend Natalie asked me, “You always say you’re too busy for stuff. What are you doing with your time?” There was an awkward, confused silence, because my every waking moment felt crammed with non-discretionary activities, stuff I had to do and do well. I felt like I barely had time to... Continue Reading →
The World's Okayest Mom 