How to Identify “Fall” in the Land of Eternal Summer

Sometimes folks new to town mistakenly assume that San Diego has no seasons. Here are ten foolproof ways to spot “autumn.”

1. It is the hottest week of the year. The wind feels like a blowdryer and there aren’t enough blinks in the world to keep your eyeballs from shriveling.
2. Something somewhere is always on fire. Upside: this makes for great sunset photos (when it’s not your local canyon).
3. Next year’s Comic-Con is sold out. Burning Man tickets aren’t on sale yet, but you already have a plan.
4. You are wearing a Frankensteinian wardrobe mash-up to accommodate both the calendar and the weather, like cords with a “fall-colored” tank or a scarf with shorts.
5. You find parking near the beach at 10am on Saturday.
6. Half of Target’s bathing suit section holds sweaters you will buy in a fit of optimism and then wear only when you leave town, or for the entire month of June, which paradoxically is the coldest month of the year.
7. The cruise ships are back, replacing Kansas-plated minivans driving 65 in the fast lane as your primary major topic of scorn.
8. A visible miasma of funk surrounds our un-air-conditioned middle and high schools.
9. Your neighbor put out decorative gourds yesterday. One is already dessicated in the heat, the other sprouting a blanket of black, furry mold.
10. You find it hard to enjoy your pumpkin spiced latte with sweat trickling down your back.